Fourth Place on Purpose

I’ll never forget an interview with a church Search Committee I had a number of years ago. They were asking the standard questions—vision, priorities, ministry philosophy. Then… a thoughtful zinger! Since this church was much larger than the one I would be coming from, they asked me how I’d keep balance in my life if I came to serve there.

“If you call me and hire me,” I said, “you’ll be my fourth priority.”

As the air left the room, it went quiet. Yep… you could hear the proverbial pin drop. Eyebrows furrowed. You could almost hear their collective thought, Well… it was nice while it lasted.

Then I explained: “God is first. My wife is second. My girls—we had four—are third. And then comes my work. So, if you call me here, you will be my fourth priority. But, I assure you, if I keep the first three in order, you’ll never be cheated.”

An abrupt end to the interview was averted… for the moment. 

Later, they asked what were my thoughts about the Bible. My answer came quickly: “I don’t read the Bible.”

Another awkward—kinda squirmy—pause. Then I leaned in: “I don’t just read it—I work hard to listen to it.” I went on to explain that reading can skim the surface. Or, it can check off the box that I “did it”—like a devotional check list. But when I listen—really listen—it speaks. It convicts, comforts, reorders, and shapes how I live. And that’s the same way I want to lead. 

That day the search committee learned something about me. I wasn’t trying to impress them with polished answers. I was giving them what I believed to be the truth about me and my calling—priorities rooted in God first… my wife second… my children third… and my calling fourth… was my plan for leadership. And, it was best if they knew this up front. 

Priorities. Listening. Alignment. I took a chance. I wanted to be open about who I was and what I believed. And… well, they hired me. And, what I have learned over the years is these convictions don’t just make for a good interview—they shape the way we live, love, and lead.

Coach Questions: 

❇️ If your work was taken away tomorrow, would your first three priorities still stand strong?

❇️ What one small shift this week would better reflect the order of priorities you want to live by?